Insomnia

Sudden thought tonight. It's not exactly sudden thought but I recalled that someone told me about you. Let's make this someone anonymous, by using 'she' later on, obviously she's a female.

There's this morning when we're having breakfast together, we talked about high school. Random topic and she mentioned you. She told me that after we broke up, you blackmailed me by saying you find me so annoying and you can't stand me anymore to your friend.I don't know if I should believe this. I chose not to because my heart was tearing apart, like so pain I can't stop shivering.

Meanwhile, she said that almost the whole school knows about our broke up and avoided me because they think I'm such bad girl. I wonder how bad am I. Like did I play around with your feelings. I really don't know why I deserve all this. If you ever wonder, this news hurt me so bad. I can still remember the night she told me this I cried so long and even after crying I couldn't fall asleep. That night was so miserable I wish I can just throw my heart away. Just so you know, this is the second time she mentioned, but obviously first time kills me inside out.

I really want an answer, from you. But I don't want a hurtful answer as well. Life's tough. You can't get good return 100%, there's always risk, just like finance. Trust me, this question has been playing in my mind for so long that everyday I kept telling myself to stop being annoying and start being so quiet to everyone around me. I just didn't wanna get hurt like this again, especially people like you. If you ever wonder, you meant the world to me and that's why I hurt. I doubt I'll be figuring this question for countless night if you're just someone who's not so important to me.

Guess what? It's already 3.36 right now. My headache is not stopping since just now. I'm feeling so tired yet so hurt over what I've heard. I really hope that what the girl told me is fake, because I'm trying so hard to assume she's lying. But actually, what hurts me today doesn't really hurts me all day and night. I might be crying tonight but I forgive easily. Just try telling me who will ever get angry over someone they love for a long period. Not me. Please?

P/s: does insomnia meant someone is dreaming of me right now, will that be you?